The 7 Habits of Toxic Team Mates

Ah, toxic team mates.  Life would be grand if it weren’t for dealing with people like this.  It’s a good thing you or I have never done any of these.  If you want to really tick off your teammates and create a toxic environment everywhere you go, these are some definite ways to become the coworker no one likes and tries to avoid.

1.  Be negative.

Complain.  Constantly.

Gripe about your boss.  Criticize your co-workers and your job.  Grumble about clients and their stupidity.  Insult people behind their back, and let people know how awful they are and how much they suck (just not to their face – how awkward would that be?).

2.  Gossip.

Talk about people when they’re not around.  Let people know all the latest “juicy” info about others without their permission.  If you don’t have all the information, that’s okay, just assume.  What’s the harm in that?

3.  Be lazy.

Be late often.  Leave work early citing every imaginable unimportant excuse in the book.  Use the reason that “I have lots to get done at home” (That really works well when you’re single and talking to a room full of working parents).

4.  Talk.  All. The. Time.

When you’re talking, you’re not listening. That’s good.  Who has time to really invest in other people anyway?  One of the best ways to avoid that is to talk all the time and monopolize the conversation.  Never let them get a word in edgewise.  Spend way more time talking than listening.  If a co-worker needs someone to confide in or really listen, they can always find someone else.

5.  Be rude and discourteous.

Bark at clients and your team.  Yawn and look at your watch a lot during meetings.  Be loud and obnoxious.  Answer your phone, text, and answer emails during meetings and conferences to let people know that you’re very important.  Everyone  is looking at you because they wish they were as important as you – not because you’re creating a toxic environment.

6.  Be two-faced.

Say one thing to get on the boss’s good side.  Say totally different things to your co-workers.  And then deny everything if you’re caught in a bold-faced lie.  After all, your co-workers wouldn’t dare talk about you behind their backs.  Besides, this strategy hardly ever backfires.

7.  Be selfish.

Always think about yourself.  Never concern yourself with anyone’s feelings or what may be going on with them.  Just focus on yourself.  You have to look out for yourself or no one will, right?  Take the credit for others’ ideas and pass the blame to others for your mistakes.  This works so well!

BONUS:

Always volunteer to bring the chips or condiments to company parties and events. Don’t worry – no one will ever notice.

Your feedback:

Can you relate?  Have you experienced these in some of your teammates?  What would you add?  How do you deal with toxic teammates?  What are some other toxic habits that you’ve experienced in coworkers?

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